the apology I'll never receive

I know its unexpected
Just give me a second
I need to sorry for the things I did to you

When you were younger
To you and your mother
If only I'd have know back then the damage it would do

I've watched you fight with addiction
And struggle with commitment

Couldn't help but think of you as a
Thorn in my side

Withdrew my affection to teach you a lesson
Oh, what a waste of our time

But there's no knock on my door
There's no please can we talk
No sorry for all of the pain that I caused

We're not sat in my kitchen
With quiet forgiveness
I thought you would find your way here but you didn't

I'll write myself the apology I'll never receive

Too young at eleven to learn of deception
Standing on the doorstep you were screaming out my name
The day I got married I know you were angry
But that's a conversation I'm not brave enough to face

So I kept you at a distance
Watched you try to fix it
See the pain written on your face it reminds me of her

Its hard remember all our years together
And I hate that it hurts

But there's no knock on my door
There's no please can we talk
No sorry for all of the pain that I caused

We're not sat in my kitchen
With quiet forgiveness
I thought you would find your way here but you didn't

I'll write myself the apology I'll never receive

I can't keep on waiting
For you to say sorry
All of the anger it's poisoned body

If you you ever listen to this song I've written
I want you to know you're already forgiven