Sixteen Saltines

She's got stickers on her locker
And the boy's number's there in magic marker
I'm hungry and the hunger will linger
I eat sixteen saltine crackers then I lick my fingers

Well, every morning I deliver the news
Black hat, white shoes and I'm red allover
She's got a big mailbox, that she puts up front
Garbage in, garbage out, she's getting what she wants

Who's jealous, who's jealous,
Who's jealous, who's jealous of who?
If I get busy then I couldn't care less what you do
But when I'm by myself I think of nothing else
Than if a boy just might be
Getting through and touching you

Spike heels make a hole in a lifeboat
Jumpin' and waving, I'm talking and laughing as we float
I hear a whistle, that's how I know she's home
Lipstick, eyelash, broke mirror, broken home

Force fed, force mixed 'till I drop dead
You can't defeat her, when you meet her you'll get what I said
And Lord knows there's a method to her madness
Bustin' those jokes as I float in a sea of sadness

She doesn't know but when she's gone,
I sit and drink up a few
I'm sure she's drinkin two,
But wondering what, for and who
And I'm solo rowin' on one side of the boat.
Looking out, throwing up, a lifesaver down my throat

Who's jealous, who's jealous,
Who's jealous, who's jealous of who?
Who's jealous, who's jealous,
Who's jealous, who's jealous of who?
Who's jealous, who's jealous,
Who's jealous, who's jealous of who?